Can someone please explain to me, what is it about a pregnant woman that makes others around her forget their manners? I’d like to assume, yes I do realize that assuming can many times make an arse out of you and me; but really let’s assume, that the general population was taught basic manners by their parents, grandparents, etc. I’m gonna venture to say that one of those manners was to be considerate of and towards other peoples’ feelings. And yet, more often than not that goes out the window around a prego.
Let me throw in a quick disclaimer here: Most folks tend to be quite pleasant to pregnant women, by opening doors for them, offering to carry their heavy bags and many times offering their seats on public transportation. NYC MTA riders are the exception to that one, but that’s a different gripe altogether.
Maybe that random “kindness” makes for people to forget their manners.
Here’s what I mean…
1. Invading personal space by touching my belly. Is there a sign somewhere on my body saying please touch me? I think NOT! I realize that there’s something magical or whatever you want to call it, about seeing a woman with a plump middle carrying a baby. But, that does NOT give you the right to just go ahead and feel me up. How about asking first? I mean seriously it would be wrong of me to go and touch your fat rolls, wouldn’t it? Besides I really wouldn’t want to. But it would be considered a social taboo to do so, because it could be considered mocking the obese. So think twice before you go assault a pregnant lady, with the unwanted belly rubs.
Ladies, it might be smart of us to add this shirt to our maternity wardrobe…
2. Secondly, keep your damn opinions about my body to yourself. Remarks such as…. “Wow, you look like you’re ready to pop any day” or “Are you sure you’re 7, 8 or 9 (whatever it is) months pregnant? You’re carrying so small.” or the ultimate “You seemed to put on quite a bit of weight with your pregnancy.” and many others along those lines are NOT welcomed. Pregnant woman are already in the ultimate body image battle during the 9 months of their pregnancy, and could totally do without your crude remarks. I’m gonna go back to the obese person, don’t we as a society, generally avoid making fat comments to the person in question? So, why would it be ok to say those kinds of things to a pregnant lady?
3. Another thing to keep to yourself, is whether or not I should breastfeed, oh and where and when I can breastfeed; and if I should go au naturale during labor or consider pain medication. These are all very personal choices. What may work for your family or your friend’s family, may not work for mine. I realize we all have opinions and there’s such a thing as free speech, but really jump, leap, whatever off of your soap box and stop being so pushy. At the end of the day, I will do as I see fit!
Being that this is my third pregnancy I have much thicker skin. However, I do remember how I would get so worked up, over the distasteful comments of those, who thought I was carrying very big. I had always been a tall but slender gal, so to see my body expanding as it was, was definitely shocking. But then to deal with the opinions of others was sometimes a little too much. All I could do to keep my sanity was to poke fun at myself in a self-deprecating manner.
Don’t get me wrong, these things still do drive me insane, especially the unsolicited belly rubbing. Hence my rant. But good thing for self confidence and life experiences. But seriously, people let’s be a bit more conscientious on how we treat those that are expecting.
I’m gonna get off of my own soap box now.